Starbucks kills you

Here’s my story of suffering and the solution I found.


The Bank Rembrandtplein, Utrechtsestraat 9, 1017 CV Amsterdam, Netherlands
+31 20 528 7755

Cold Amsterdam, wanted to feel warm.

– I’d like coffee, please.
– Which one?
– *Reads the menu* – Frappacino (3€)
– What’s your name?
– Illia
… 1 minute later
– Illia’s cappuccino
– But I ordered Frappacino. This contains milk.

– Are you lactose intolerant?
– No
– We have almond milk, soy milk, coconut milk (+0.6€)
– Without milk

– Ok, I’ll make you another one.
We have mango …(smth)
– Well, ok, whatever
*Blends soda with ice*
– Here

Solution – StarButts

Chain of coffee restrooms.

Take coffee the right way – rectally. Feel amazing. Pay for time – relax your bileducts, free the liver. Maybe they will serve juices in churches, and make enemas.


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